Obligatory New Year's Post!
Dec. 31st, 2013 08:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragoon811Well, it's that time of year. The time for flowers, chocolates, promises I don't intend to keep - no, wait. That's Beauty and the Beast.
But it's still time to reflect on the past and look towards the future.
This year, I've made a bunch of changes. I got married to the man I love more than anyone in the world and am happy. I've continued writing, and even slowly began gaining the confidence to really focus on my original work. I'm proud of my part in The Unofficial Sherlock Cookbook, and I'm very proud of the short story collection and novel I'm working on. Do I need more eyes on it? Probably, but I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it.
I've even made a few friends, I think, in the SSHG communities. And I'm awful at making new friends. I've tried to stop worrying that everyone secretly hates me and that there is some secret how-to out there that will make me likeable if only I could follow the directions. That's been really difficult for me, but... I'm trying. I just have a really awful track record with my "friends" talking about me behind my back or back-stabbing me. It's not fun and it's made me a bit of a worrier.
I've improved in Dungeons & Dragons, getting better at managing my rolls and saves. The RP part I've had no problem with, it's been the devil of the details, so to speak. I've made better class choices, finding the role that speaks to me (usually a caster, though I did like ranger) and choosing the right skills/spells to go with the job.
My changing of my habits (aka the slowest darn way to lose weight ever) has been going well. Even if I don't notice the changes because I see me every day, the scale knows. People who see me after a long absence now. I've gone from 32 to a 20, have lost almost 200lbs in total since I started this, and am still losing slowly. I haven't picked up the bad habits again. It's working.
Now, there's been some bad things this year, like being laid off, residency still not going through so I cannot legally work here in Canada (leaving me reliant on my husband, my writing, and the generosity of family), and my husband being basically run out of the store he started by his brother and brother's wife. (Long story, but I don't want to go into a negativity spiral.) But I'm still alive, I'm still happy for the most part (being bipolar is "fun"), and my husband and I are getting through this as best as we can.
Next year, tomorrow, a few hours, whatever... is coming. I can't predict what next year will hold, aside from the obvious - sun, sky, earth, rain, snow, air, my husband will love me as I love him, I'll keep writing - but I can make decisions on how I want to approach things.
In the coming year, I want to...
* Keep writing. My goal is to finish at least one of my projects in full.
* Learn to cook 10 new things. Even bread counts, or honey-glazed carrots, or carnitas. (First is olie bollen!)
* Add actual exercise to my habits. Even if it's just stretching or going for a walk once a week, I'm ready and unashamed to add it in now.
* Fanfiction - I want to finish Another Dream. It's so close.
* I want to find my muse. I don't know how, and feel rather silly about the whole thing, but sometimes I feel so out of touch with myself. But when I am, it's amazing. I know my voice as a writer, but I don't know my own muse.
* Keep working at my relationship with my husband. It's a silly thing to put down, I know. But I didn't marry him for myself, I married him for him. And I want it to stay that way. I don't want there to become a him-vs-me, I want it to remain an us.
* I want to work on liking myself more. So often I just start to hate myself, so stupid little things. It's time to try to love me the way Bobby does.
And to the rest of you... I hope that 2013 was kind to you. And whether it was or wasn't, I hope that 2014 is kinder, that you get back more than what you give out.
Have a very wonderful New Year's!
But it's still time to reflect on the past and look towards the future.
This year, I've made a bunch of changes. I got married to the man I love more than anyone in the world and am happy. I've continued writing, and even slowly began gaining the confidence to really focus on my original work. I'm proud of my part in The Unofficial Sherlock Cookbook, and I'm very proud of the short story collection and novel I'm working on. Do I need more eyes on it? Probably, but I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it.
I've even made a few friends, I think, in the SSHG communities. And I'm awful at making new friends. I've tried to stop worrying that everyone secretly hates me and that there is some secret how-to out there that will make me likeable if only I could follow the directions. That's been really difficult for me, but... I'm trying. I just have a really awful track record with my "friends" talking about me behind my back or back-stabbing me. It's not fun and it's made me a bit of a worrier.
I've improved in Dungeons & Dragons, getting better at managing my rolls and saves. The RP part I've had no problem with, it's been the devil of the details, so to speak. I've made better class choices, finding the role that speaks to me (usually a caster, though I did like ranger) and choosing the right skills/spells to go with the job.
My changing of my habits (aka the slowest darn way to lose weight ever) has been going well. Even if I don't notice the changes because I see me every day, the scale knows. People who see me after a long absence now. I've gone from 32 to a 20, have lost almost 200lbs in total since I started this, and am still losing slowly. I haven't picked up the bad habits again. It's working.
Now, there's been some bad things this year, like being laid off, residency still not going through so I cannot legally work here in Canada (leaving me reliant on my husband, my writing, and the generosity of family), and my husband being basically run out of the store he started by his brother and brother's wife. (Long story, but I don't want to go into a negativity spiral.) But I'm still alive, I'm still happy for the most part (being bipolar is "fun"), and my husband and I are getting through this as best as we can.
Next year, tomorrow, a few hours, whatever... is coming. I can't predict what next year will hold, aside from the obvious - sun, sky, earth, rain, snow, air, my husband will love me as I love him, I'll keep writing - but I can make decisions on how I want to approach things.
In the coming year, I want to...
* Keep writing. My goal is to finish at least one of my projects in full.
* Learn to cook 10 new things. Even bread counts, or honey-glazed carrots, or carnitas. (First is olie bollen!)
* Add actual exercise to my habits. Even if it's just stretching or going for a walk once a week, I'm ready and unashamed to add it in now.
* Fanfiction - I want to finish Another Dream. It's so close.
* I want to find my muse. I don't know how, and feel rather silly about the whole thing, but sometimes I feel so out of touch with myself. But when I am, it's amazing. I know my voice as a writer, but I don't know my own muse.
* Keep working at my relationship with my husband. It's a silly thing to put down, I know. But I didn't marry him for myself, I married him for him. And I want it to stay that way. I don't want there to become a him-vs-me, I want it to remain an us.
* I want to work on liking myself more. So often I just start to hate myself, so stupid little things. It's time to try to love me the way Bobby does.
And to the rest of you... I hope that 2013 was kind to you. And whether it was or wasn't, I hope that 2014 is kinder, that you get back more than what you give out.
Have a very wonderful New Year's!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2014-01-01 04:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-01-01 05:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-01-01 05:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-01-01 09:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-01-02 02:04 am (UTC)No spoilers, but S3E1 = AMAZING.
no subject
Date: 2014-01-02 09:46 am (UTC)I had to restart it 3 times and then I just gave up. Like I came back in and then Sherlock kisses Jim to which I'm like 'the fuck' and the next time I come back to Mycroft and Sherlock discussing a lonely ski hat!
So I'll watch a recording tomorrow night :)
no subject
Date: 2014-01-02 09:31 pm (UTC)I can't wait until you see it!!:-D
no subject
Date: 2014-01-04 10:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-01-04 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-01-01 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-01-01 05:21 am (UTC)