I am terrible at livejournal. Mostly because it's overwhelming.
I mean, it's nice and all that people are posting, but sometimes 6 7 8 posts by a person or group in a day and I start to feel like I'm drowning, so then I hide from livejournal and then when I do look it's all "oh god no there's so much" and then I don't reply to messages because I think I've left them too long (this is why I have 232 emails btw) and feel horrible about that, too.
Actually, I'm pretty much the same with email atm - I have currently 232 emails and trying to pretend like everything's a-ok and honestly I just need to sit down and reply to reviews (this is where nearly hyperventilating and crying come in) but obviously that hasn't and doesn't happen. Or I should decide that anything over two months old doesn't GET a reply, mark it as read, and folder it.
The only emails I've stayed on top with have been for my new Etsy, which is doing ok, I think. I mean, I have a slight problem with expectations vs reality. I wanted to throw open the doors and have people buy me out right away. Obviously that's not happening lol. I just hope that people like their cases when they arrive. I do like makpillowcases, and I hope to nudge my income into at least the "broke even" range soon.
I know, I know...me, desperately worried about what little money I have. Same old song and dance, right?
Still waiting on residency. I did, however, apply to renew my visitor's visa. I hope that is approved soon. :-\
At the moment I just...feel like a failure. I hate everything that I do. I'm trying to put on a happy face about my new fic and my etsy and everything but I spend a lot of the time hating myself.
I know I'll eventually upswing emotionally, but in the meantime I am sick of being the negative one. :(
Oh well. Someday.
(Which is basically my current mantra: someday.)