Bleh post

Aug. 26th, 2015 06:01 am
dragoon811: (Snape - how could the end be happy young)
[personal profile] dragoon811


Bleh.

I am terrible at livejournal. Mostly because it's overwhelming.

I mean, it's nice and all that people are posting, but sometimes 6 7 8 posts by a person or group in a day and I start to feel like I'm drowning, so then I hide from livejournal and then when I do look it's all "oh god no there's so much" and then I don't reply to messages because I think I've left them too long (this is why I have 232 emails btw) and feel horrible about that, too.

Actually, I'm pretty much the same with email atm - I have currently 232 emails and trying to pretend like everything's a-ok and honestly I just need to sit down and reply to reviews (this is where nearly hyperventilating and crying come in) but obviously that hasn't and doesn't happen. Or I should decide that anything over two months old doesn't GET a reply, mark it as read, and folder it.

The only emails I've stayed on top with have been for my new Etsy, which is doing ok, I think. I mean, I have a slight problem with expectations vs reality. I wanted to throw open the doors and have people buy me out right away. Obviously that's not happening lol. I just hope that people like their cases when they arrive. I do like makpillowcases, and I hope to nudge my income into at least the "broke even" range soon.

I know, I know...me, desperately worried about what little money I have. Same old song and dance, right?

Still waiting on residency. I did, however, apply to renew my visitor's visa. I hope that is approved soon. :-\

At the moment I just...feel like a failure. I hate everything that I do. I'm trying to put on a happy face about my new fic and my etsy and everything but I spend a lot of the time hating myself.

I know I'll eventually upswing emotionally, but in the meantime I am sick of being the negative one. :(

Oh well. Someday.

(Which is basically my current mantra: someday.)

Date: 2015-08-27 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linepau1.livejournal.com
You need a better situation. It isn't you, it's the people around you, it's the needing to move, and the not being able to work or do anything that makes you money by Canadian standards.

You'll be ok. You'll get there. You don't need to hate yourself. So many people love you just for you, including me. We'll help you the best ways that we can.

Date: 2015-08-27 06:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragoon811.livejournal.com
*hugs* Thanks and yeah I do. :(

Both Bobby and I need the hell out of here and for CIC to pull their heads out of their collective arse and just approve me. It would help so much if I could at least job hunt or if the etsy really took off. :(

And I love you, too, Pauline <3 Somedays I just don't love myself. :-\

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